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Monthly Archives: September 2006

Vandelized Finger

This may violate some confidentiality clause, but I got this email in my inbox at work: Subject: Vandelized [sic] Finger All, Does anyone know who is vandalizing Jay’s big red finger? There is a reward for capturing the perp. Thanks,

Link Pie

One of Stereolabrat’s better posts You know what? Personal fucking helicopter, that’s fucking what! No one is safe with the bump key around! No one! get one of them Gore-bulbs, man! Wired talks about Nerdcore. I’m already having difficulty sleeping. Excellent post on splogs Analysis of 20000 MySpace passwords Awesome 2D to 3D drawing tool [...]

80 shits

“I don’t know how this band expects to take 80 shits in two hours.” “What in Mary’s tits are you talking about?” “Right here. It says ‘English Beat: two hours of 80 shits!” It was almost too good to be true. Someone got careless with the spacing when they were trying to write “80s hits!” [...]

pool balls

Someone stole our pool balls. “Where are all the pool balls?” “Don’t look at me. Everyone knows I can only fit seven in my ass.”

Life Skills

“Look over there,” Steph sez, jabbing me in the ribs. The same couch that scared Kemp out of any form of sexuality now was home to a forty-some guy–in full on schmooze–with his arm wrapped around an obviously sub-eighteen girl. Her look was contained terror. My first instinct was to go over and tell the [...]

A Gift and a Curse

A blessing came in the form of A horrible, two-hundred-some pound woman sitting on the arm of a couch in a skirt that would still be inappropriate for a woman half her size if it were twice its length. Each time she bellied up to the bar her horrible pinched mouth with lip-stick applied by [...]

Just because I plunge toilets makes you think I don’t have a thousand dollars?

The perennially strapped-for-cash Antonio was in rare form the other night. Obviously drunk and it was no surprise to me that he was kicked out for stealing from the charity jar—he was especially desperate; reeking with hunger for more sweet alcohol. Before his ejection he asked Russ for a thousand dollars. A thousand. Dollars. Russ [...]

Calendar

It’s tough to see me lately, and it’s not because I’m ignoring you. I’m very busy, but maybe we could mesh our schedules? Check out my calendar. This link also appears in the nav-menu at the top.

Rosh Hashana

I’m excited about attending temple with Mer for the Rosh Hashana service. I’m especially enthused for what I can only imagine will be a veritable smorgasbord of gefilte fish—a delicacy which shares the ranks of haggis and chitlins as Fear-Factor-worthy fodder. Ah, gefilte fish… It tastes fine, but wins hands down in terms of scariest [...]

Jose Gonzales, Death Vessel

You saw the computer monitor commercial that featured thousands of colored bouncing balls going down a street ins San Fran., yes? It had some nice acoustic music accompanying it and at the show last night I suddenly realized I was in the presence of greatness when the dude on stage, Jose Gonzales (from Sweden), started [...]


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