Brian Risk's Blog » Funny Stuff

Google thinks I am a robot

Brian Risk — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 16:05:25 +0000

When you search for hundreds and hundreds of peptide sequences which look essentially like random sequences of letters then, yeah, Google gets a little suspicious.

Jimmy Wales’ bedroom eyes are seriously creeping me out

Brian Risk — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 00:01:54 +0000

Iron Man 2: So Many Questions

Brian Risk — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 16:50:04 +0000

Oh my god I am baffled like in every way about this movie. The details defy reality How did a car crash right into Micky Rourke when he was wearing barely any armor and he didn’t even move? All those flames didn’t even tousle his stringy hair. How is his laser whip splitting cars in half but it’s not doing the same to a metal iron man costume? Hey, how the fuck did Micky Rourke even make one of those generators? In the first movie they made a huge deal about how super rare palladium is and now this Russian alcoholic with ridiculously hubcap-like fingernails can get his hands on it? How does changing your Iron Man battery suddenly suck out all of the toxicity in your blood? What the fuck was the whole discovering the new atom sequence? Why are “tousle” and “tussle” not the same word? Or, if it makes sense that they’re different words, then why aren’t they more different? Was the world in the model made by the guy from Mad Men like a scale model of the world and that’s how it had all of the data about roads and shit on it that Robert Downey Jr. could work through like some fucking puzzle? Hey, guy from Mad Men, just put dots on the globe where the protons go. Yeah. It’s a fucking train model. No one will notice those dots. And didn’t S.H.I.E.L.D. take Tony Stark to some remote island? How did he drive off of it? Why was that very train model still in Tony Stark’s office? How the fuck does that make any sense? Why did that desk toy start floating in front of Robert Downey Jr.’s face and hover in front of the movie screen? Why didn’t Jon Favreau just cast himself as Iron Man if he wanted so much screen time? Was the climax of the movie really “crossing the streams”? Seriously? Why was for the second half of the movie everyone talking in slow motion? Oh, god, here’s one for you: You spend ridiculous amounts of time, money and resources to make a near impenetrable suit of armor for yourself but then you spend half of the fucking movie with your FUCKING FACE MASK UP??? Oh Jesus Christ I don’t care that there are famous actors in there! Please just put your fucking face mask down you’re making me nervous. So we sit through the r-i-d-i-c-u-l-o-u-s-l-y long credits to see the teaser at the end and, spoiler but not really, they show us a hammer stuck in the ground. Yeah. That was worth it. Yes, I know it was Thor. I know. But does anyone outside of the 1970′s give a shit about Thor? Does anyone else have the feeling that this Avengers movie that they’ve been building up forever is going to be the most ridiculously bad thing viewable on a screen?

Look at this fucking hamster

Brian Risk — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 02:41:24 +0000

Report spam for spam

Brian Risk — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 03:40:42 +0000

To report spam to twitter you have to follow the “spam” user then direct message it. Interestingly, you can report spam for spam.

Everyone including I

Brian Risk — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 21:54:14 +0000

When you determine if you are to use “me” or “I” isn’t it the rule that you are supposed to ignore the words relating to other people? For example “John and me went swimming” is wrong because “me went swimming” isn’t how ya say it.

Here I am now really confused when it comes to sentences that have “everyone including”. To illustrate: “Everyone including me went to the show” is the way I’ve been saying it my whole life, but it just dawned on me how asinine it would be to say just “me went to the show.” However, “everyone including I went to the show” sounds equally asinine, but can this be right?

Billy Mays Autotuned

Brian Risk — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 14:05:49 +0000

Spiraling and hypnotic… I’ve watched this video five times now since I got a link to it last night from Jonathan. Beyond the novelty of what the video is doing, I feel that a new variety of melody has been created which is approaching the Infinite Jest samizdat.

Friday Night Lights

Brian Risk — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 18:47:45 +0000

Did you know you could buy a soundtrack of a TV show inspired by a 2004 film based on a 1990 book about a 1988 football team?

Update: Did you know you can get a bootleg recording of a performance of a song written for a soundtrack of a TV show inspired by a 2004 film based on a 1990 book about a 1988 football team?

Red Shoe Diaries: Talking Dog?

Brian Risk — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 17:29:18 +0000

Hulu is now serving up the early 90′s erotica drama Red Shoe Diaries. I remember this as being quite scintillating before the era of the WWW. To see how reality lives up to my memories, I watched the episode titled “Auto Erotica”. In it a woman who is about to marry a nice, safe man is pushed by a mystery man into speed games with their very fancy sports cars. They then do it.

How did this stack up to my memory? Perhaps a bit of a let down. Not only is the phrase “was he real or did I make him up” repeated consecutively maybe 20 times but then episode is totally rescued by this completely WTF moment at the end of the show where David Duchovny is walking alone with his dog, Stella, reading the letter from this woman describing her affair. He starts talking to Stella and then, magically, it sounds like Stella responds.

David Duchovny: “What a question, hunh, Stella? I’d say that was a once in a lifetime experience.”

Stella???: “And what about the wedding? Was that real, or did she make that up to?”

David Duchovny: “I… don’t know”

The camera is no longer on the two of them, so it’s not like you see a talking dog, but, again, there is no one else around but the two of them. Here is a link to the clip of the dialogue in question.

Was the talking dog real, or did I make him up?

Pungent

Brian Risk — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 06:46:21 +0000

A business man just returned from a trip to the NY branch where he was to vote for or against the opinion of the CEO.

“Well,” his wife said, “what did you do? How did you side?”

“Honey, I came, I saw, I concurred.”