If you haven’t heard the song by Bandway, you need to. Though for Cynthia (and seemingly half the others on third floor) it’s five days, so the song comes up a little short.
Last night I had a real Larry David moment: my change at a local coffee shop was six dollars. I dropped in a bill in the tip jar only to immediately notice that what was left in my hand was the one, not the five. I’d like to consider myself generous, but what am I, the Czar of Russia over here? Pure social awkwardness hit as my impulse was to reach in and fish out my five and replace it with a one, but as a bartender myself, I know that nothing makes bartenders more nervous and angry than someone going through their tip jar. I wait until my server is turned-around and occupied and successfully subbed the bills. Had I been Larry David, though, I would have been caught right in the act: “What the fuck? So you’re stealing from the tip jar, now are you? I got a mind to crack your head! Getthafuckouttahere!”
I’m seriously looking forward to this vacation. It’s not un-interrupted, though. The Red Cross knows right when your defenses are down to call.