In this big game that we play it is not what you find and it’s not what you deserve – It’s what you take. I’m Frank T.J. Mackey, Master of the Muffin and author of the Seduce and Destroy System of audio and videocassettes that will teach you the techniques to have any hard-body blonde dripping to wet your dock!
Respect the cock and tame the cunt, boys.
If each chick had something new, something really new that I’d never seen before? Fuckin’ hell: I’d be in the money! Because I’d have to create a hundred new cassettes, a hundred new books, a hundred new seminars and hundred new videos just to deal with each and every situation a chick could create — but that is just not the case. They are universal. They are sheep.
All women are the same. Period. End of discussion. Sorry. It’s true. Sad but true.
Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks
Lick on deez nutz and suck the dick
Gets the fuck out after youre done
And I hops in my ride to make a quick run…
I once had a bitch named Mandy May
Used to be up in them guts like everyday
The pussy was the bomb, had a nigga on sprung
I was in love like a muthafucka lickin the protung
The homies used to tell me that she wasn’t no good
But I’m the maniac in black, Mr. Snoop Eastwood
So I figure niggaz wouldnt trip with mine
Guess what? Got gaffled by one time
I’m back to the muthafuckin county jail
6 months on my chest, now its time to bail
I gets released on a hot sunny day
My nigga D.O.C. and my homey Dr. Dre
Scooped in a coupe, snoop we got news
Your girl was trickin while you was draped in your county blues
I ain’t been out a second
And already gotta do some muthafuckin chin checkin
Move up the block as we groove down the block
See my girls house, Dre, pass the glock
Kick in the do’, I look on the flo’
Its my little cousin Daz and he’s fuckin my ho, yo
(bitches aint shit)
I uncocked my shit…I’m heart-broke but I’m still loc’ed
Man, fuck a bitch!
I know I’m quoting all these people, but if I could just say something as a personal note. I don’t think it’s a vagina that makes a woman a woman. Give women some credit. They are more than just that sexual organ. I believe what makes a woman a woman is T&A. That’s just me.
It’s unbelievable. You could go, “Hey honey, I love you.” A simple thing, “I love you.” And what do they go into? “Really? Do you love me because you need me? Or do you love me just because you love me?” “Go fuck yourself. Cook me some dinner, you dumb dunce.”
It’s like this chick is sucking my dick, right. And she’s like, “Don’t come in my mouth.” I go, “Honey, I don’t wanna fuck up your hair, we’re in a fancy restaurant.”
I’m good with my girlfriend, I bought her everything. You had to see it, I bought her this beautiful dustpan. You had to see the look in her fucking face when I took it out. I had her initials engraved in it and everything, and she’s just staring at it. And you know what it was? Last year I bought her the broom. You know, so all year she was sweeping shit into her hands. So now she sees the dustpan a year later and she knows that I didn’t fucking forget. And she’s got this look in her fucking head, she’s just staring at me. And I’m standing there like, “Unbelievable, huh baby? Pick something up, go ahead.”
After you marry them, you’re over there every Sunday. Then her mother starts breaking your fucking balls. She’s like, “Let me ask you something. Are you taking care of our little girl?” And you’re looking at the mother like, “Let me tell you something about this fucking whore. Ever since I married her, she don’t clean the toilet, she don’t lick my ass, she don’t blow me, she don’t do nothing. Maybe if you blow me, she gets a Christmas gift.”
Every relationship I’ve been in, I’ve overwhelmed the girl. They just can’t handle all the love.
The mind is more powerful than anything in the world. If we were able to use our full minds, we would probably destroy ourselves and the world.
I used to think I actually was Batman.
I’m bringin’ sexy back
Them other boys they don’t know how to act
I think it’s special… what’s behind your back
So turn around and and I’ll pick up the slack
Dirty babe
You see these shackles baby I’m your slave
I’ll let you whip me if I misbehave
It’s just that no one makes me feel this way
(take it to the chorus)
Come here girl, go head be gone with it
Come to the back, go head be gone with it
VIP, drinks on me
Lemme see what you’re twerking with
Look at those hips
Make me smile
Go ‘head child and get your sexy on
I’m bringin’ sexy back
Them other fuckers don’t know how to act
Girl let me make up for all the things you lack
Because you’re burning up I got to get it fast
Justin Timberlake, put down your Barbies for a second and put this to music for me.
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider, he sat down beside her
He said “Hey, what’s in the bowl bitch”
What is it with chicks? No matter how good you bang them, they’re never happy. They’re always there afterwards going, “Why won’t you talk to me? Why won’t you talk to me?” “Because I’m finished.” Know what I mean, JT?
When people ask why God allows violence in the world, I tell them so I can hit Justin Timberlake in the face. And they nod and agree and say, “Good reason.”
Counterpoint by Seduce and Destroy
In this big game that we play it is not what you find and it’s not what you deserve – It’s what you take. I’m Frank T.J. Mackey, Master of the Muffin and author of the Seduce and Destroy System of audio and videocassettes that will teach you the techniques to have any hard-body blonde dripping to wet your dock!
Respect the cock and tame the cunt, boys.
If each chick had something new, something really new that I’d never seen before? Fuckin’ hell: I’d be in the money! Because I’d have to create a hundred new cassettes, a hundred new books, a hundred new seminars and hundred new videos just to deal with each and every situation a chick could create — but that is just not the case. They are universal. They are sheep.
All women are the same. Period. End of discussion. Sorry. It’s true. Sad but true.
Carefully Crafted Rebuttal by Snoop Doggy Dogg
Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks
Lick on deez nutz and suck the dick
Gets the fuck out after youre done
And I hops in my ride to make a quick run…
I once had a bitch named Mandy May
Used to be up in them guts like everyday
The pussy was the bomb, had a nigga on sprung
I was in love like a muthafucka lickin the protung
The homies used to tell me that she wasn’t no good
But I’m the maniac in black, Mr. Snoop Eastwood
So I figure niggaz wouldnt trip with mine
Guess what? Got gaffled by one time
I’m back to the muthafuckin county jail
6 months on my chest, now its time to bail
I gets released on a hot sunny day
My nigga D.O.C. and my homey Dr. Dre
Scooped in a coupe, snoop we got news
Your girl was trickin while you was draped in your county blues
I ain’t been out a second
And already gotta do some muthafuckin chin checkin
Move up the block as we groove down the block
See my girls house, Dre, pass the glock
Kick in the do’, I look on the flo’
Its my little cousin Daz and he’s fuckin my ho, yo
(bitches aint shit)
I uncocked my shit…I’m heart-broke but I’m still loc’ed
Man, fuck a bitch!
I know I’m quoting all these people, but if I could just say something as a personal note. I don’t think it’s a vagina that makes a woman a woman. Give women some credit. They are more than just that sexual organ. I believe what makes a woman a woman is T&A. That’s just me.
A Few Words From Andrew Dice Clay
It’s unbelievable. You could go, “Hey honey, I love you.” A simple thing, “I love you.” And what do they go into? “Really? Do you love me because you need me? Or do you love me just because you love me?” “Go fuck yourself. Cook me some dinner, you dumb dunce.”
It’s like this chick is sucking my dick, right. And she’s like, “Don’t come in my mouth.” I go, “Honey, I don’t wanna fuck up your hair, we’re in a fancy restaurant.”
I’m good with my girlfriend, I bought her everything. You had to see it, I bought her this beautiful dustpan. You had to see the look in her fucking face when I took it out. I had her initials engraved in it and everything, and she’s just staring at it. And you know what it was? Last year I bought her the broom. You know, so all year she was sweeping shit into her hands. So now she sees the dustpan a year later and she knows that I didn’t fucking forget. And she’s got this look in her fucking head, she’s just staring at me. And I’m standing there like, “Unbelievable, huh baby? Pick something up, go ahead.”
After you marry them, you’re over there every Sunday. Then her mother starts breaking your fucking balls. She’s like, “Let me ask you something. Are you taking care of our little girl?” And you’re looking at the mother like, “Let me tell you something about this fucking whore. Ever since I married her, she don’t clean the toilet, she don’t lick my ass, she don’t blow me, she don’t do nothing. Maybe if you blow me, she gets a Christmas gift.”
Justin Timberlake’s Opinion
I have 20,000 girlfriends, all around the world.
Every relationship I’ve been in, I’ve overwhelmed the girl. They just can’t handle all the love.
The mind is more powerful than anything in the world. If we were able to use our full minds, we would probably destroy ourselves and the world.
I used to think I actually was Batman.
I’m bringin’ sexy back
Them other boys they don’t know how to act
I think it’s special… what’s behind your back
So turn around and and I’ll pick up the slack
Dirty babe
You see these shackles baby I’m your slave
I’ll let you whip me if I misbehave
It’s just that no one makes me feel this way
(take it to the chorus)
Come here girl, go head be gone with it
Come to the back, go head be gone with it
VIP, drinks on me
Lemme see what you’re twerking with
Look at those hips
Make me smile
Go ‘head child and get your sexy on
I’m bringin’ sexy back
Them other fuckers don’t know how to act
Girl let me make up for all the things you lack
Because you’re burning up I got to get it fast
Justin, this is brilliant!
Justin Timberlake Replies
I was going to say sexy, but thanks man! Dance with me Brian…
Andrew Dice Clay Chimes In Again
Justin Timberlake, put down your Barbies for a second and put this to music for me.
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider, he sat down beside her
He said “Hey, what’s in the bowl bitch”
What is it with chicks? No matter how good you bang them, they’re never happy. They’re always there afterwards going, “Why won’t you talk to me? Why won’t you talk to me?” “Because I’m finished.” Know what I mean, JT?
Justin Timberlake Pipes Up
Maybe God blessed me with extra love because he forgot to give Andrew any.
Andrew Dice Clay Retorts
When people ask why God allows violence in the world, I tell them so I can hit Justin Timberlake in the face. And they nod and agree and say, “Good reason.”