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Monthly Archives: December 2006

Signing Emails a Thing of the Past?

Monday, December 18, 2006

I don’t say “hello?” when I answer the phone anymore. I say “hello!” The change? Caller ID. Knowing who’s calling moots obligation for identification. In fact, I feel like I sound stupid when I call a friend and announce, “hey, it’s Brian.” No shit, Sherlock. I knew it [...]

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Bouncing Souls: Redux

Friday, December 15, 2006

Kemp shows up with his new digital camera and starts snapping some candid shots. Never afraid of hamming it up, I pull off my shirt and do a Hulk Hogan-style flex, showing off my rippling abs… right as someone who works at Rho comes up to the bar. “You don’t have to tell [...]

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Voice Recognition Eat Your Heart Out

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Say this to any robot: “They’re right, too. Their right to write two to Bill Wright is right there in the Bill of Rights.”

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White Elephants

Friday, December 8, 2006

“I got you some presents,” Cynthia says, popping into my cube.
“What are they?”
“Read the card!”
[it says something about spa gifts.] The first gift is the size of a burrito; the kind of burrito a 300 pound texan would eat on a dare. It’s one liter of Head’n’shoulders.
“Are you trying to tell me something?” [...]

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Who is from the Netherlands?

Thursday, December 7, 2006

This site is getting all sorts of hits from the .nl posse. Why? Who are you? You’re the one’s with legalized prostitution. What could you possibly want from me?
On a semi-related note, you do one blog post titled “Autofellation” and suddenly you’re an authority on the subject. I imagine droves [...]

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