Odd Jobs.

1. Pet sitter
2. Slug catcher – UNC grad student needed slugs for research
3. Test subject – asthma research
4. Illustrator – Kerr Drug ads
5. Dish washer
6. Web designer – North Carolina Supercomputing Center
7. House Cleaner
8. Multimedia designer – web, logos, computer based trainings, horrible PowerPoint slides
9. Associate professor of computer science
10. Camp counselor at camp for developmentally delayed children and adults
11. High school math teacher
12. Ice cream store employee
13. Music club, general – bartending, security, mopping, “runner”, etc.
14. Life model
15. Computer programmer

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  1. I’ve had all sorts of food service positions, complete with bizarre customers and even weirder coworkers, but my oddest job was the 2 weeks I spent assisting a 400 pound ex-Marine from Long Island with his plant nursery in Durham. He really just needed someone (some girl) to watch the place while he tended to his far more lucrative landscaping contracts.

    My first day there, as I was reading in the “office,” a beat-up red Mustang (of course) came zipping down the driveway, stopping in a dust cloud directly in front of my door. Out of the driver’s seat jumped an irate, mulleted man, “Troy” (double of course) who started howling and cussing and telling me to, “tell [Boss] that fat son-of-a-bitch to quit talking shit about me, that mother-fucker [etc., etc.]….” Meanwhile, apparently oblivious to her boyfriend’s tantrum, his reedy, washed-out companion was explaining that she just needed to pick up her vacuum cleaner.

    I can’t exactly remember how I got rid of them, although I think it involved staring directly in Le Redneck’s face and yelling (to the best of my freaked-out ability), “You can see [Boss] is not here! Do you see his truck? No!” repeatedly until he stormed back to his car, girlfriend (still sans vacuum) in tow, and peeled out of the driveway.

    When my boss came back, I told him about my morning. His response: “I’mma break his face.”

    I didn’t last long.

  2. Ima Brakyoface just made me laugh out loud. WILL YOU PLEASE MOVE HERE. And how the hell come did I never hear about the slug catcher job? Huh?!??!? HUH??!!!!!

    To M: that man woulda scared the shit out of me!

  3. You’re insane. Pet sitter? Dish washer? Computer programmer? Where the hell did you find these things?

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