Signing Emails a Thing of the Past?

I don’t say “hello?” when I answer the phone anymore. I say “hello!” The change? Caller ID. Knowing who’s calling moots obligation for identification. In fact, I feel like I sound stupid when I call a friend and announce, “hey, it’s Brian.” No shit, Sherlock. I knew it was you because my phone said “FUCKTARD.” That’s not nice, you know? Saying something like that. No need.

For the same reason I think email signatures are on their way out. I’ve stuck with signing my emails because I feel it shows courtesy and my name is only five quick keystrokes which I can execute mindlessly. Still, I sense that maybe I’m painting myself as antiquated.

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  1. Shall we just call you Ricky Gervais, then?
    Antiquated or not, I prefer signed emails.
    But I am reluctant about LOL style abbreviations and emoticons, so maybe I’m just wordy.
    Probably that’s what it is.

  2. Drop the Sincerely part from letters too. It’s kind of redundant. Actually, if the address is on the outside of the envelope, drop it from the letterhead too. And drop the greeting. If the person is already reading the letter, it’s kind of pointless, isn’t it? Also, I think articles in sentences are unnecessary. If you write, “Apple fell from tree,” who isn’t going to understand that? And l’s should be repraced with r’s, so it should really be, “Apper ferr from tree.” That is more culturally sensitive with our burgeoning Asian population.

    Anyway, don’t worry about being FUCKTARD on my phone. You will always be FAGTARD to me.

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