State Fair ride: The Emotional Rollercoaster

This year’s State Fair hosted one of the most socially awkward moments of my recent history. There’s this ride called “The Enterprise” which starts out like a ferris wheel lying flat. It spins you around really fast and then rotates up so you’re spinning around vertically. There aren’t straps; you’re held in just by pure centrifugal force. It’s a ride mainly for couples as you’re put in this little pod and have to sit in there with one person in front of the other like you’re on a motorcycle seat. I went on this ride by myself not thinking much of it until I realized that they didn’t accept single riders and I would be paired with a stranger… A total stranger was going to have to sit right in front of me, essentially in my lap, and have the forces of nature push him/her right into… Right into my crotch. I started to freak out a little. The carnies push this 19-ish year-old guy in the ride with me and immediately I felt better because I instantly recognized that he was way more uncomfortable about the situation than I was. “Climb on in,” I say, with a hint of things to come. We’re caged in and I pat him on the back saying, “I’m Brian.” He held on to a bar at front with the most white knuckles I’ve seen determined to not let any part of his back touch any part of my front. When it was all over he bolted out as soon as the cage pin was opened. The ride should probably be renamed “The Emotional Rollercoaster.”

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