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  1. all you need do is add some avocado and all is well. i promise you that if you add avocado to anything it becomes edible. i just can’t figure out why every avocado i buy nowadays goes bad within two hours. california, please stop shipping avocadoes via ant caravan and/or kid on big wheels and/or by aqueduct. (they have these “ripe now!” stickers on them when they arrive in stores. translation of “ripe now!” — “brown, gouey, decomposing for several weeks, and possibly toxic.”)

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