Unintelligent Design

  • A Texas woman just published her theory on global warming. Don’t be too hard on congress, lady. It’s an easy enough mistake. I once accidentally set the “PM” to “AM” on my clock. Thankfully the authorities contacted me before an era of ice and darkness ensued. Chuck sez, “guys – you *do* know that Congress doesn’t have the power to determine the length of the days, don’t you? Everyone knows that that responsibility lies with Chronos, God of Time, and we must bow before him and make a sacrifice unto him, lest he rewinds time itself and makes me go through 7th grade again.”
  • If you didn’t want to punch ID people in the mouth before, reading this dialog with one of them will really firm up that impulse:
  • This GA based character animation may help offset the bad taste in your mouth.

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  1. That Urban Legends argument neglected one key point — people from Arkansas have no sense of humor. A lawyer in Arkansas? Yeah right, what does he do, represent people who are injured using porta-potties? It was probably enough of a struggle for the poor guy learning to read and write. Where is he going to find law books? Certainly not in the Bill Clinton library. Bill Clinton used the mafia to burn down peoples’ houses. Speaking of global warming, if Congress wanted to solve global warming, they would just pass a law against global warming. Global warming is henceforth, from this day forward, illegal. Stupid sun. We don’t want any warming. We want cooling. An ice age. Total darkness. People from Arkansas totally suck. I’m hungry and bored. I’m leaving now.

    Stupid sun…just sits up there all day mocking us…I know how to do nuclear fusion and you morons don’t. We don’t need you. We don’t need anybody.

    Wait, I do want to say one thing about the intelligent design thing. Yes, creationists who try to argue with science-minded people are annoying, but so are the science-minded people who totally lack spiritual creativity, trying to argue with religious types by framing everything in scientific terms. Look, peeps, you cannot frame spirituality in scientific terms nor science in spiritual terms, so stop trying. All of you! Damn, I really do not do my real, actual comments a service by starting out by rambling like a crazy man. But that last point about the sun conspiring against us was real. I’m telling you, watch your backs. I never go out without my tinfoil hat.

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