A rough first-take on a basic blues riff. So standard is it to my ears that I am dubbing it “Missionary Blues.”

Dammit, GarageBand!  I just noticed that huge, bald tail at the end of the song.  Just please ignore that, listening audience.

Don’t say that word.

What? Phenotypic?

Yeah. Just don’t.

Do you even know what it means?

[blank stare]

It’s the physical expression of one’s genotypic traits.

Don’t say that either. Don’t talk like that.

Okay, I won’t, if you promise to not use that ebonic tribe-speak you’re so fond of.

I don’t even do that!

[icy silence shared by both]

and how!  so like i swa this girl in the harris teeter parking lot and im all yo holla back and she just kind of rolls her eye an keep talkin to her friends.  then i see this flier for customserenade.com and it say they mak all sorts of custom songs and so what have i got ta loose?  i order one and this guy hes got this special called the panty peeler and i tell him i want that.  sure nuff this girl is all up ons and cant get enoug.  hell yeh.

Can you guess what “AFITP” stands for?  Bonus points if you can peg the cultural reference.

A Cradle employee was robbed gun-to-head style Wednesday night.  She was on her way to DJ at WXYC and has all her CDs with her… taken of course.  I ask if she at least had burned them to her computer.  No, her car was robbed last year and computer was taken.

Jeff Crawford kicked a mean bass line for “Dear Prudence.” Where’d DJ Danger Mouse when you need hm?

Here’s a little catch-up:

• It’s Carrboro - Billy did some words and some rapping.
• Valient Thorr Vs. Hot Rod Circuit - Freestyle - Here’s the deal: This was an impromptu jam. I shat this beat out in about thirty seconds then VT and HRC kicked the rhymes.
• Gods of Indy Rock
• Saturns Moons - Billy k1ck3d in words and singing.

About ten years ago I heard an Indian sounding song being played over the radio at Time After Time (a second-hand clothing store). The melody has stuck with me and now I am to the point where I am being driven kind of crazy wanting to know who wrote the song. I feel the only recourse is to publish a song myself which best recreates the melody in hopes that the music publishers will contact me for violating their copyright. If they threaten to sue me, I’ll gladly fork over all profits I make from this piece. Listen to PleaseSueMe.

A little intellectual property law philosophy reared its symmetrical head when I pulled my debit card out of my pocket and looked at it held upside down.

“Holy balls, it’d be totally easy to modify the Wachovia logo to make it into an ambigram.” You know, an ambigram, like what they talk about in that less-than-thrilling book, The Da Vinci Code.

The advantages of having an ambigram logo are obvious: no matter how a debit card or brochure or letterhead or whatever are held the logo will still be readable. What big-name bank wouldn’t want this kind of thing? I could paid handsomely for such an idea!

Then the questions came. How could I solicit this to Wachovia? I’d probably have to know someone on the inside for this to even reach the desk of someone remotely in charge. How could I protect the intellectual property of my idea? How would I keep Wachovia from ripping off my idea and making an ambigram of their own? After all, my work is a derivative of their intellectual property. Since it is derivative, is it automatically their property? If not and they do rip off the design, could I say that their new logo would be a derivative work of my work and then sue them? If I sued them, would I then gain ownership of Wachovia Bank? What if they come up with an ambigram that looks entirely different from mine, would a lawsuit against them hold any water? I mean, can I somehow protect the mere idea of turning their logo into an ambigram and not just my design? People are able to show scripts to movie executives in some way that protects them from having their idea getting ripped off, right? In that case, can I also protect the idea I had about making a pair of glasses that when you put them on you see people glow with varying shades of brightness depending on how attracted they are to you? To best protect my idea do I just have to come up with lots of designs for possible ambigrams and hope that that covers all bases? Why did I eat both those pork chops? Am I to die in my bed?

Instead of trying anything fancy, I decided to make a design, post it to my blog and see what my readers think of all of this.

I’m no snob.  I’m no elitist.  Still, I just launched phase 1 of a dating site for people with above-average intelligence.  As I mention on the site, there is a correlation between the IQs of married couples.  Plus, from my own personal experience, I know that I have to be able to relate to someone to really like them and intelligence is a factor in that.

Phase 1, by the way is the test.  The intelligence test is up for people to take.  Once enough people take the test, we will invite all those that qualify to join the site.

• When Computers Mimic Us, We Love What We Hear
• Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome - Women are given an insight into the condition of teen boys.
• Wikpedia knows seduction
• Artists get screwed with their take on digital downloads - just ask Weird Al
• History of Lithium as an Antidepressant - like Serotonin, a circuitous and convoluted journey guided by equal parts luck and intelligence.
• Registration for the 2006 World Puzzle Championship
• Practice Test for the above link
• letter from Henry Rollins to Ann Coulter
• OLTP (One Laptop Per Child)
• The Verizon chaperphone
• don’t use flash drives you find
• It’s good to know that human ingenuity has not plateaued
• Wikipedia’s comprehensive list of Google’s tools
• Implanted finger-magnet bestows sixth sense
• YouTube - kitten + MacBook
• YouTube - choochootrain!
• My fridge has a vagina!
• Awesome new 3d input device

It’s late and I need to finish a project.  What’s this?  My roomate didn’t drink all of the coffee in the pot.  I’ll put some ice cubes in the cup and it’ll be a nice iced-coffee…  {glugglugglug} What the fuck?  Weird stuff in my mouth?  Spit it the fuck out!

I spit whatever it was into my hand dear readers and found that it was some sort of fungus.  Brown, slimy, formless fungus.  The type of fungus that would grow as some sort of scum, floating like a lilly-pad, on the top of what must have been days-old coffee.