I found a note on my car this morning.
GENIUS,
NOW I CAN’T PARK HERE
FOR WORK
THANKS,
ASSHOLE
Yes, I don’t live in that apartment complex, but I was in a visitors spot. I made sure of it. Now, I’ve seen people write letters that they then put under the windshield wipers of cars parked in their spaces. It is a delicate craft. You want to be cordial, polite, but firm. Filling that scrap piece of torn-off paper is a process that can take up to half an hour. Every word must be carefully considered.
The note I got was simple enough to be a follow up to To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar. Though a funny thing happened about halfway to work: I started doubting my original interpretation. I had assumed off the bat that I was being dually addressed as both GENIUS and ASSHOLE, but when I critically examine the content it kind of looks like it was signed ASSHOLE. With that perspective the entire meaning of the letter is up for question.
7 Comments
That makes me mad just reading it. I def. have road rage… and the worst part is my car horn doesn’t work. I wanna get a megaphone.
Maybe it was written in a blinding moment of clarity.
I believe the problem here was a lack of detailed vocabulary. Allow me to reinterpret.
Considerate patron of unquestionable intellect-
Your prudent decision to park here has enlightened me. Though I have been parking here for work with invariable frequency, I suddenly realize that I have no legal rights to this space and have thusly been gambling my punctuality on a public space that may or may not be available to suit my needs. Fortunately this has not derred me too much today and I can remedy the situation without severe retribution. Thank you for unwittingly bringing this to my attention at such a timely hour.
Yours truly-
A gravely inconsiderate oaf.
Maybe it was written in a blinding moment of clarity.
I believe the problem here was a lack of detailed vocabulary. Allow me to interpret.
Considerate patron of unquestionable intellect-
Your prudent decision to park here has enlightened me. Though I have been parking here for work with invariable frequency, I suddenly realize that I have no legal rights to this space and have thusly been gambling my punctuality on a public space that may or may not be available to suit my needs. Fortunately this has not deterred me too much today and I can remedy the situation without severe retribution. Thank you for unwittingly bringing this to my attention at such a timely hour.
Yours truly-
A gravely inconsiderate oaf.
GENIUS,
CAN I BORROW A CUP OF SUGAR?
THANKS,
ASSHOLE
GENIUS,
I GET NAUSEOUS EVERY TIME I VISIT
THIS BLOG
THANKS,
ASSHOLE
That’s just harsh, Guy.
IT’S NAUSEATED, ASSHOLE.
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