June 3, 2008

Exchange Sexchange

Google “exchange sexchange

And you get:

  • McShaneSexChange.com
  • WomanSexChange.com
  • KidSexChange.com
  • ExpertSexChange.com
  • EntrepreneurSexChange.net
  • MaterialSexChange.org
  • UnclePaulSexChange.com
  • StJohnSexChange.com
  • BankerSexChangeServices.com
  • JaneSexChangeNYC.com

and, on the fourth page of results, rested my favorite:

  • OddSexChange.com
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A brief list of movies which feature McGuffins in their titles where said McGuffins are replaced with “McGuffin”:

Lord of the McGuffins
Raiders of the Lost McGuffin
The Maltese McGuffin
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s McGuffin
Monty Python’s Quest for the Holy McGuffin
Too Wong Foo Thanks for the McGuffin, McGuffin
McGuffin McGuffin McGuffin McGuffin (Eat Drink Man Woman)

mona lisa's baby

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March 7, 2008

Garfield minus Garfield

garfield minus garfield

This site is one of the best things to happen to humanity in the past 5 years. It’s like Garfield comics are ugly stencils that Jim Davis sprays with horrible nonsense… until the stencil, the scaffolding that is Garfield is removed and a beautiful structure is revealed. I feel these strips connect with something deep inside me and it is perhaps for that reason that I find them so very, very funny.

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March 4, 2008

Cackletastic

Hillary is cackletastic.

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Homeless AdSense

In an effort to further penetrate their marketshare as an ad supplier for traditional media, Google recently rolled out their new AdSense for the homeless program.

“There are a lot of eyeballs looking a these signs which are located on some prime, highly trafficked sections of real estate,” said Eric Goldman, VP of fringe marketing. “We’d be fools to overlook this delivery channel.”

To begin using the program, a homeless person must first set up an AdSense account and install a small bit of JavaScript in each of their cardboard signs. Accrued revenue is directly deposited to the hobo’s account.

“This is no different from our expansion into radio and print media,” Goldman said. “Google is the best company in the world at delivering highly targeted ads based on supplied content.”

“It’s like Google just doesn’t care anymore,” said Jerry Yang, founder and CEO of Yahoo. “Their philosophy is that ads could be on any surface so long as eyeballs pass over them. By that rational we should soon be seeing Google’s presence on the backs of womens’ skirts, shorts and tight-pants.”

When asked to comment on Yang’s remarks, Goldman was initially silent. “That’s… that’s brilliant!” he finally replied. “We could call it AssSense!”

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November 12, 2007

The BBQ Split ™

The idea had its genesis at this year’s state fair, but was finally realized last Thursday in a flurry of drunken activity: Cook up a bratwurst, and place three scoops of BBQ and BBQ side items (mac-n-cheese, coleslaw, okra, etc.). It’s the cholesterol-lover’s version of the Banana Split.

I’m just giving America what she wants.

the BBQ Split

  • How to be Better, Faster, and Different than Your Competition in Bed.
  • The Top 3 Skills High Achievers Must Master in Bed.
  • 7 Ways to Keep Your Customers Coming Back for Life in Bed.
  • Steps to Becoming a Stronger, More Strategic Decision-Maker in Bed.
  • How to Master the Art of Effective Leadership in Bed.
  • Salesperson to Superstar Using the “Slight-Edge Principle” in Bed.
  • 6 “KNOWS” to Get the “YES” in Bed.
  • The 8 Keys to Communication– and Captivating Public Speaking in Bed.
  • How to Turn Irate Customers into Lifelong Fans in Bed.
  • 5 Easy Ways to Deal with Difficult People in Bed.
  • Power Motivators! What to do When You Don’t Want to do Anything in Bed.
  • 6 Ways to Increase Your Effectiveness in Bed.
  • How to Gain Rapport With Anyone Instantly in Bed.
  • 2 Things You Can Do To “Buy Time” in a Crisis in Bed.
  • 4 Keys to Getting the Edge in Every Negotiation in Bed.
  • How to Get Your Ideas Accepted, Acted Upon and Accomplished in Bed.
  • The Time Management Secrets of High Achievers in Bed.
  • Expert Listening Skills: How to Hear What They’re NOT Saying in Bed.
  • How to Hire and Keep Your Employee Dream Team in Bed.
  • 5 Mental Exercises that Give You a Winning Edge in Bed.
  • 10 Tools to Make and Manage Your Money in Bed.
  • Strategic Steps for Planning a Comfortable Retirement in Bed.
  • What Most Investors Don’t Know About Investing in Bed.
  • Things You Need to Do to Secure Your Family’s Financial Future in Bed.

AND much more…..!

August 27, 2007

Me before I kill again

Stop me before I kill again

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August 1, 2007

Simpsonizing perhaps a step to far